Local Woman Mortified As Her Fairly New Guy Spots Her Retainer On Bathroom Sink

CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT

A romantic evening in Betoota’s French Quarter took a disastrous turn last night for local woman Sarah Palmer (27), as she watched her dating life flash before her eyes upon the grim sight of her cracked, yellow-stained retainer sitting front and center on her bathroom sink.

Sarah had been pulling out all the stops during her date with Tom, a guy she’d been trying to impress for weeks. With flirtatious banter setting the scene, the pair had just indulged in a lavish $75 ‘feed me’ menu and split a bottle of red, before walking arm-in-arm back to her apartment.

That was until Tom innocently asked to use the bathroom.

As he stepped away, Sarah remembered the grotesque sight of her cracked and yellow-stained retainer that she left on the bathroom sink that morning. The retainer caught the bathroom light in a way that only highlighted its unsightliness.

Sarah was mortified, “It slipped my mind, I was trying to make my apartment look like I’ve got my life together and guess I forgot to hide it.”

Tom, who’d been cheerfully oblivious until that moment, returned from the bathroom with a bewildered expression.

“I saw him glance at it, and I knew,” Sarah said, burying her face in her hands. “The thing is disgusting, like a relic from my teenage years, but I didn’t think it would ruin the mood this much.”

“I mean how can I bounce back from that!” Sarah exclaimed, making a mental note to herself to put her retainer in its case next time.