Local Woman Has A Little Too Much Faith In The Whole Free Bleeding Thing

VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT

After feeling extra womanly one evening, local Betoota woman, Melanie, decided to mix things up this month.

“I was on my 5th day, it was light and I couldn’t be arsed restocking supplies, so I just thought, why not?” 

Furthermore, in a moment of blissful ignorance, Melanie decided to wear a new pair of white palazzo pants out to dinner that night with her new boyfriend, Jason. 

“It was a pretty good pair of dacks” Jason remembered. 

Melanie and Jason enjoyed a $20 steak at their local pub before terror struck. 

“I thought maybe my steak was a bit too rare at first" says Melanie.

"But after a moment of patting around… I knew exactly what it was.” 

Jason thankfully lent his fleece jacket to Melanie who was nearly in tears over the incident. 

“It was a pretty good jacket” Jason remembered. 

Melanie has since cried about this incident, telling our reporters that she's spent hours looking at the ceiling thinking about what she could have done differently to avoid this whole ordeal.

“It’s like I want to do the whole destigmatise thing - and women's bodies are beautiful thing - but honestly my activism has ruined a really cute outfit” Melanie cried to our reporter. 

“Like how did they even do it in cave man days? Did they just spend a week sitting on the grass?” 

“I love being a woman in 2026 and whatever but a week sitting on the grass sounds way better that what me and my very new boyfriend just went though"

More to come.