Local Woman Exposes Unborn Child To Mummy’s Version Of Mozart

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT

LIKE LITERALLY: A symphony of sounds echoed from a Betoota Grove living room this evening as one expectant mother treated herself - and her unborn child - to what she describes as ‘Mummy’s Mozart’.

However, instead of classical strings and delicate piano, the soothing tones filling the room were just Gia and Bec verbally abusing each other on latest episode of Married At First Sight.

“It helps with the baby’s brain development,” the expecting mother, Adelaide Bracy (31) told The Betoota Advocate, defending her weeknight MAFS hyper fixation as another form of prenatal education.

“Who knows? It could even make the baby smarter,” she added.

This new revolutionary practice has been dubbed as 'The MAFS Effect’ that’s sees mothers across the nation binge watch an excessive amount of Married At First Sight during their thrid trimester.

Studies have suggested, however, that exposing developing foetuses to hours of reality TV brain rot, in fact has the opposite effect of playing Mozart - with newborns reportedly showing reduced cognitive performance and an alarming inability to identify red flags in relationships as they start to reach adolescence.

Researchers also noted that several babies allegedly exited the womb yelling, “HE’S NOT HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS” before their umbilical cords had even been cut off.

While official research is still ongoing, doctors are now advising all mums-to-be to limit their daily MAFS consumption - placing it in the same risk category as soft cheeses, raw sashimi and undercooked meat.

“And much like alcohol, I’ve been advised to limit my dinner party intake to special occasions only.” one mum confirmed.

More to come.