Local Woman Calls Police To Report A Crime Against Glen Powell’s Beautiful Face

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

A local woman has today been forced to call the local authorities after witnessing something awful.

Andrea Thompson from our town’s rapidly gentrifying Flight Path District, said she was forced to call the cops after being shown an attack on her beloved Glen Powell.

Channeling a bit of 1972 Marlon Brando, she said couldn’t believe how they’d massacred her boy in the new Chad Powers’ show.

This comes after her boyfriend pulled up the trailer for the new comedy starring the Hollywood heartthrob – after he’d tried to show her the genesis videos for the show starring Superbowl winning Quarterback Eli Manning.

“Babe, so like the original character was by this guy who got 2 SuperBowl rings, but like one of them was like a ridiculously lucky play and he probably didn’t deserve two rings when you consider a guy like Josh Allen might never get one but…” said her boyfriend Bill, while she just shook her head at the prosthetic nose on her hall pass.

“Oh yeah, they put a full new face on Powell haha,” laughed Bill.

“Wild hey.”

“Becuase he’s like creating a fake persona and going back to college to ball after he full fumbled it in the Championship game.”

“Hmmmm,” mused Andrea.

“It just hurts to see him like this.”

“At least the pipes are good in the training clips.”

“Look at those veinsssssss…….”

Bill then raised his eyebrows by asking for Andrea’s agreement to watch the show.

“Yeah, let’s give it a spin,” she said.

More to come.