Local Tradie Asks New German-Made Torch To Be Best Man Given It’ll Still Be Around On His Silver Anniversary

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local sparkie has reportedly dumped his best mate from the wedding party after discovering his new torch comes with a longer commitment than most marriages.

Dave Barton made the call last week after picking up a Ledlenser P7R 25th Anniversary Edition and learning the precision German-made torch is backed by a 25-year warranty, which, by his calculations, is more reliable than any of his mates.

"Davo's a great bloke and he shines bright but he just can't give me 2,000 lumens and a guaranteed quarter-century of reliability," said Barton, adjusting the torch's Mode Select Ring with the tenderness of a man who's been flicked The One from Bilbo."Plus the Smoky Black finish will look sharp with the groomsmen's suits. Davo was going to wear a cream suit for God’s sake."

The former best man Davo says he's not taking it personally. 

"Yeah nah, fair enough. It’s a fucken nice torch. More features than a Ford Fairlane. Spose I can just get shit-faced then and not have any responsibilities or anything dumb like that. Giddy up."

Barton's fiancée Sam says she's not surprised, noting he also tried to put the Ledlenser H8R 25th Anniversary Edition headlamp as a flower girl before she shut it down. 

"He said the rear red safety light would look nice coming down the aisle. I said absolutely not.”

"He's been sleeping with the torch under his pillow like James Bond," she added. 

"At least the new ones charge with the same USB-C cable as his phone. Small mercies."

“Plus the bucks will be way tamer now then if Davo had his way. The torch will probably take them all to the local BCF, or maybe they’ll even just have some drinks and scroll ledlenser.com.au, so I’m stoked.”

Paid partnership with Ledlenser. The official torch provider of The Betoota Advocate.

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