Local Tight Arse Needs Two Wallets To Carry All His Coffee Stamp Cards

KEITH T. DENNET | South | Contact

A local tightarse is once again defending his fiscal proclivities this week, in the face of accusations that he is indeed, a world-class tight arse.

The news comes as Brendon Campos (34) from Betoota Lakes, was seen carrying around two wallets, both overflowing with tattered coffee stamp cards.

Meeting three mates from his soccer club this morning for flat whites, Brendon was ridiculed as he dragged two wallets from his pocket, and attempted to turn the social occasion into a chance for him to rack up some more loyalty points.

“Thanks for coming over my side of town boys, they do good coffee here!” Brendon proclaimed, as he took a seat on a milk crate at Atlas Coffee House and fist bumped his mates.

Digging his little boney little fingers deep into his wallet, Brendon quickly pulled out about 11 different stamp cards, and proceeded to inspect each one until he found one for Atlas.

“Ahh I’m getting close to a freebie, before you go up and order, take this…”

Collectively shaking their heads at their mate, who’s well known for skipping rounds, or only saying yes to beers if it’s within a happy hour window, Brendon’s friends took the chance to bring his painfully fiscal behavior into line.

“If you want a freebie for next week, go up and pay for all of us,” replied his mate Jame hotly.

“I’ll take a small flat milk on almond with a shot of hazelnut, Phil wants the same but make it a double shot and Dave likes an iced latte, large. And get me a banana bread too, you haven’t shouted me a beer since Christmas.”