Local Tattoo Artist Forced To Whip Out The Orbital Sander After Client’s Card Declines

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

Clients at a popular Betoota ponds tattoo parlour were given the shock of their life yesterday, as reports suggest a man was treated to a ‘heavy duty dermabrasion’, when his credit card failed to pay for an eight hour tattoo session.

One woman, Ellie Farbour, 27, who was getting a sigil tattoo tattooed on her forearm at the time, says she heard the scraping sounds of a belt sander just moments before the blood curdling screams of a grown man, who was tied down and sanded until his back was bloody and raw – resulting in the entire parlour being engulfed in the stench of burning human flesh.

“Oh it was honestly horrific, and really put a dampener on my tattoo experience”, laments Ellie, “I’m so glad I had the money to pay for mine.”

“If the tattoo wasn’t so nice, I probably wouldn’t come back to be honest.”

Despite copping a few startled looks from clients, the owner of ‘Monster’s Ink’, Anton Giddes, defends the rash decision of his employee, stating that ‘it’s simply what you have to do in a cost of living crisis.’

“I respect my employees, and I respect their art”, he explains with a shrug, “If you can’t pay for a tattoo, well, you can’t fucking have it anymore.”

“Banks repossess houses, so why can’t we repossess tattoos?”

More to come.