Captain Of Div 7 Corporate Mixed Touch Side Drops 900-Word Gripe In Team Group Chat About A Lack Of Commitment
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The captain of the Deloitte Betoota mixed touch side has today rocked the team group chat
31 July, 2016. 13:04
ERROL PARKER| Editor-at-large | Contact
JOHN WHISTLER HATED AMY WINEHOUSE when she was alive, but in death, he says she’s one of his biggest inspirations and musical influences.
He finds Pink Floyd to be dull, says Led Zeppelin are the biggest plagiarists in modern music, but he adamant Lynyrd Skynyrd should be held on a similar musical pedestal to Queen.
You’d find the 29-year-old part-time landscaper at the Brunswick Hotel most Thursday nights. He’s never played Wonderwall live. Ever.
“Jimi Hendrix was the best guitarist ever. Way better than David Gilmour or Jimmy Page. Fuck, even Amy Winehouse was a better guitarist that those junkies,” he said.
“Freddie Mercury was, and still is the greatest singer that’s ever graced the Earth. David Bowie is also great, but don’t get me started on these homogenous budgies we have now like Madonna or Taylor Swift, they’re just awful,”
“But say, if Taylor was caught injecting a mixture of cocaine and heroin into a vein under her tongue and was found unresponsive in the morning, then I’d be belting out You Belong To Me down at the pub every Friday night. He’d be an inspiration on par with Kurt Cobain.”
Originally published as “I got so fucked up last night, but I have an obligation to write an article today” in the Courier-Mail.