Local Man Refuses To Submit To An Umbrella

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A Brisbane bloke has today admitted that he’d rather catch a cold than submit to an umbrella, which to him, is far more of an inconvenience than wearing rain soaked socks and catching a sniffle.

This comes as Michael Boon, 28, found himself walking home in the pissing down rain yesterday afternoon, despite passing by several convenience stores that would have sold umbrellas.

But for Michael, this act of defiance is much preferable than submitting to an umbrella – in fact, it’s a test of his manhood.

Just like some blokes like to engage in contact sports or plunge themselves into ice baths, walking home in the rain allows Michael to fulfill his masculine urge to suffer slightly, as there’s something tragically heroic about traipsing through rain slicked streets, hoodie up and music blaring in his headphones.

Maybe it was the tears in rain monologue from Blade Runner, Andy Dufrane breaking out of Shawkshank Redemption, or the The Battle of Helms Deep in Lord of The Rings Two Towers.

Or perhaps the famous kiss scene in Spider-man.

However, when questioned why he’d rather walk twenty minutes in soaking wet clothes than hold up an umbrella, this is all Michael had to say.

“Umbrellas are annoying and I never remember to bring one.”

“I just can’t be fucked hey.”

More to come.