Local Man Craves A Shower Head As Powerful As The Ones Outside The Lifesaving Club

PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT

A local surfie has today departed the beach feeling a mixture of envy and resentment after having a powerful clean.

Trent Parker (26) a keen surfer and mildly hygienic guy has caught himself dreaming of a home shower system that’s anywhere near as powerful as the ones at his local lifesaving club.

The Cronullingen Life Saving Club hosts a couple of outdoor showers that are basically just glamorized pressure washers.

Unfortunately for Parker, the shower system in his dilapidated sharehouse offers more of a sprinkle than a shower.

The Advocate spoke with the man (who was still soaking wet) about his predicament.

“How the fuck does this dingy little surf club maintain one of the best pressure systems in the country?”

“We’ve gotta get the bloke who rigged it up to come round our joint and install something like that.”

“At the moment, you couldn’t even call what we have a shower, it’s kind of just a leaky faucet that you stand under for a few minutes before getting frustrated and leaving.”

Mr Parker reached out to his landlord to provide assistance but has so far been unsuccessful.

“Yeh we got onto the landlord about it but he didn’t give a fuck. I’m probably more concerned about the black mold forming above the shower head than the weak ass pressure it’s exerting."

“I think I might just cut out the middle man and leave a bottle of soap in the bushes at the club and go full time outdoor shower.”

More to come.