Local Man Can Always Smell Subway Restaurant's Musk Before Seeing It And He Doesn't Know Why That Is

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Betoota Heights man has spoken of the feeling he gets when he's overcome by Subway's unique musk as he strolls the high streets of our cosmopolitan inland republic.

Today, it's the restaurant on Greens Road in Betoota Heights that has Will Donoghue's nasal cavity tingling.

The 25-year-old electrician turned to our reporter, who was outside the tobacconist washing down two Advil liquid capsules with an illicit Marlboro Gold, and remarked that he can always smell a Subway before his retinas are bashed with its presence.

"Can you smell that?" he turn to our reporter, who was performing a flawless 'waterfall' manoeuvre with the cigarette smoke.

Our reporter indicated they could not smell it, at this moment, but knew what Donoghue was talking about.

"Dunno why that is. I can never smell a Maccas or a Hungry Jacks. It's even hard to smell a KFC until you're in one. Not that I'm glad I can smell a Subway. I never have it. Have some dead-eyed little sibling of some fuckwit I went to school with try to make me an Italian BLT? No thanks, mate," he added.

"I look into these places of a lunch time and see what creatures are in there. Subway always has the biggest freaks. People getting takeaway then deciding to eat-in. So they have a plastic bag and all the shit all over the table. Hoeing into a foot long sub with their AirPods in. That ain't livin, Josh."

More to come.