Local Footy Club Causes Confusion After Post Game Drinks Don’t Escalate 

CLYDE ROYAL |Western News| Contact

In a super strange series of events a local footy club manager found himself locking the clubhouse doors just two hours after a win.

Jobe Stewart, club president of the Betoota Kickers filled us in on the strangeness at the club. “It was a belter of a win, then all of a sudden the boys were clearing out.”

“Damo, who is usually the loosest unit in the club, mentioned something about ‘mowing the lawn,’ imagine that! Mowing the lawn after a game? Absolutely mental.” Added Jobe.

A quick discussion with one of the locals in the area proved that yes this was definitely a change from the norm. “I had just finished turning on my street facing surveillance camera, after a win I always make sure it’s running because I often get classic clips for my tiktok account ‘Drunk Footy Dummies’ on TikTok.” explained Ryan Gilchrist, who lives across the road from the ground.

“I can’t believe it, normally I take my dog out for a walk on Saturday nights, tonight I was expecting to be agitated by their yelling and hoon driving. One of them actually waved at me as he passed.” Recounted another local, Harriet Jinks.

Back with Jobe he highlighted the dire consequences the club would face if this continued. “Even though we get the players to pay absolutely massive fees, the only thing keeping the club alive are the bar sales. If these boys start behaving like this we’re dusted.” a concerned Jobe explained.

We here at the Advocate are no behavioural experts, but this definitely is a concerning time. If footy players aren’t “Kicking on” then the expression “kick ons” could die altogether.