Local Bushie Says Those Gym Junkies In the City Aren’t ‘Farm Strong’ Like Him

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A controversial new hire at Moonda Station is causing quite a stir among local pastoralists and graziers this week as debate whether he’s actually as strong as he looks dominates smoko discussions.

Dennis Cleary visits the local 24-hour gym on Daroo Street in South Betoota up to seven times a week.

Because of this, the 24-year-old stationhand has quite an imposing presence among his colleagues.

“He’s a big son-of-a-bitch, isn’t he?” said Moonda Station manager Michael Campbell. “He’ll see how strong he is. Looks strong, but I don’t reckon he’s farm strong. That’s baby muscle he’s got under his skin, not that old-growth you see in real strong bastards.”

Being farm strong, according to Mr Campbell, is being able to look and maintain a healthy figure – while being able to perform tasks such as cutting high tensile wire with one hand and throwing a mickey bull in the backyard and holding ‘the cunt’ down while someone slips a ring over his purse.

“It’s hard to get farm strong when you pump iron in an air-conditioned gym like that abomination on Daroo Street,” said Campbell.

“Dennis might be strong enough to carry four bags of copra from the shed to the horseyard, but is he strong enough to break in a colt or get thrown off one and stomped on a few times? I don’t think so.”

More to come.