Like This Post If You Think The Ashes Should Be BYO Again

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The 2025-26 Ashes are finally upon us. In 24 hours, the nation will be blessed by the sacred sound of leather on willow.

For the best part of the next two months, the ambient white noise of yelping cricketers and monotone cricket commentators will dominate pubs and living rooms across Australia.

The body odour of the balmy army is already starting to pong out the Perth's pubs, as the pommy bastards seek shelter from the blazing antipodean sun.

The English side have already been poking around for a few weeks ahead of the opening Ashes test which will take place on from November 21-25 at Optus Stadium for the first time ever - after being relocated to Tasmania in 2021 due to Covid restrictions in WA. First ball will be played at 4:20pm AEDT.

The second test will take place from December 4-8, in Brisbane starting at 3pm AEDT. This will be the last Ashes played at the Gabba before they tear it down in preparation for the 2032 Brisbane Olympics.

The third test will take place from December 17-21 in Adelaide, starting at 1030am AEDT, with crowds lounging on the last great grass hill in test cricket.

The fourth test will take place from December 26-30 at the mighty G, kicking off at 10:30am local time.

The fifth and last test, will take place at the SCG from January 4-8, as the city of Sydney purges their post-Christmas boredom with a week of humid, beer-soaked test cricket.

England is ranked number 2, but still carry with them a sense of colonial superiority. Australia is ranked number 1 in the world.

The pommy bastards have not won a Test in Australia since 2011.

This has all the ingredients for a marvellous summer of cricket. There's only one thing missing: Cost-of-living measures.

Gone are the days where a family could pack their own ham sandwiches and orange juice. Test cricket enthusiasts are now at the mercy of the price gouging stadiums.

A growing movement of Australians are fighting to disrupt this dystopian corporate blackmail. Punters should be allowed the option of visiting their local Dan Murphys and IGA and rocking up to the stadium with their own bbq chook, 20 bread rolls, mayo, lettuce and a carton of ice cold cans of beer.

Like this post if you think we should return to the purest form of the game. Let's make The Ashes BYO