ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Shadow Treasurer Ted O'Brien has reportedly brought the house down as he laid out his leadership wares this morning.
Shortly after 9am, O'Brien rose to his feet during a spirited discussion about the Liberal Party's go-it-alone strategy and, according to sources, made the announcement that he feels the time has come for him to steer the ship through these trouble waters.
In this discussion, there were men yelling and women eye-rolling. Backbenchers looking out the window and wondering which private sector they're going to land in once the party bus rolls down an embankment at the next election. All paused to listen to O'Brien's self-congratulatory sermon.
The first to crack was Senator Michaelia Cash, who slapped her knees and laughed with such gusto that she almost head-butted them. Followed by the Liberal Senate Leader, the rest of the women still left in the party room, including Sussan Ley who reportedly pointed at him in hysterics.
This gave licence for both Angus Taylor and Andrew Hastie to begin laughing as well. Both of them heavily speculated to usurp Ley as leader in the coming weeks, months or years. Taylor shook his head and clapped once as shotgun blast after shotgun blast of high country giggle shot from his agape gullet and into the ceiling.
Hastie's muted, full-auto cackle put suppressing fire on the mudhut full of insurgents that was Ted's own self-worth, which was now waiting for a JDAM to penetrate through the roof and transform it back into soil.
Ted looked at his closest capo Scott Buchholz, who was trying not to laugh but lost it seeing Senator JamesMcGrath remove his trendy West End mum glasses to wipe the tears away.
Without taking any questions or responses, Ted sat back down.
More to come.
