Liberals Somehow Manage To Fuck Up Most Simple Form Of Politics As Anti-Immigration Policies Fall Flat

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

The Coalition's Century Of Humiliation continues this week, after their high risk policy thus far is met with very little reward from the Australian population.

In what appears to be an effort to Out-One-Nation One Nation, Liberal Party leader Angus Taylor yesterday announced a plan to slash Australia's temporary migration by two-thirds.

These extremely consequential changes to Australian migration were immediately met with backlash from business leaders and farming groups, who claim such policies would damage the economy and push crucial workers offshore.

Opposition Leader Angus Taylor has rejected the concerns about the major and sudden impact that his his proposal have on our already sluggish economy, but has quietly acknowledged the changes would indeed be targeting visa holders working in aged care.

Immediately, the Liberal Party's attempt at matching One Nation's xenophobia has somehow fallen flat, as even white nationalist rednecks grow concerned about Taylor's decision to get rid of Filipino aged care workers.

"Why would he bother going so hard on immigrants if he was going to target the wrong ones?" says blatant Australian racist, Hando Romper (55, Leeton).

"How could they be so out of touch that they don't even know which minorities are currently unpopular with voters like me?"

These sentiments were echoed by another One Nation voter, Peta Devine (49, Golden Bay).

"Nobody asked him to get rid of the Filos." she says.

"They are good Catholics who laugh at racist jokes. Why would we want less of them!?"

Another blatant xenophobe, Fraser Bolt (35) is also disheartened by the Liberal Party's failed attempts at racist dog-whistling.

"What's next!? He wants to deport all of the Nepali pub chefs?"

"These aren't the people that we have a problem with. I don't see anything about quiet working class Asian migrants on my algorithm... And I look at it for five hours a day!"

In less of a concern for One Nation voters, undergraduate uni degrees will now cost a quarter of a million dollars - with no international students to offset the cost for Australian school-leavers. Academic kids in rural Australia are being advised to learn how to hang doors and mix cement.