Liberals Preselect Man Sleeping Rough In The Albury Botanic Garden Rotunda For Farrer By-Election

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Liberal Party has today announced its candidate for the May 9 Farrer by-election, passing over several accomplished female contenders in favour of a man whose primary residence is the rotunda in Albury's Botanic Gardens.

The man, who the party was unable to confirm the legal name of, will appear on the ballot as "John Citizen" until further documentation can be sourced.

"John" was preselected late last night in what party insiders are calling a "return to grassroots values". That's despite his three-point policy platform includes disbanding the Albury City Council rangers, who he believes are "trying to steal his brain as he sleeps," legalising the catching and cooking of decorative koi fish from the Botanic Gardens pond on council barbecues, and, failing that, legislating that NSW Police be required to cook the fish for you while you relax.

Speaking to The Advocate from his rotunda, which he refers to as his electorate office, John said he was honoured by the nod.

"Yeah I dunno how it works exactly but a man-lizard in a suit came down here and said I had the numbers," he said.

"First thing I told him was the rangers have got to go. They're not collecting rubbish, mate. They're collecting thoughts. My thoughts. I've seen them standing near my head while I'm sleeping. You don't do that unless you're brain hungry."

"And the koi thing, that's just common sense. They're right there. Beautiful big orange ones. That's a feed. But every time I get one on the grass, the jacks show up and makes a big deal about it. Fine. You cook it then. That's my policy. If you won't let me cook the fish, you cook the fish. Simple."

The preselection is understood to have been a contentious one, with at least four women put forward for the seat, including a former mayor, a regional health executive, and a Fulbright Scholar who grew up on a rice farm outside Finley.

All were overlooked in favour of John, who party officials say "polled well with the base" despite listing his occupation as "fish killer" and his residential address as "confidential".

A senior Liberal source, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told The Advocate the decision was straightforward.

"We did look at the women, genuinely," they said.

"But John just had that X-factor. He's a straight shooter. Lives simply. Doesn't have any skeletons because he doesn't have a closet. You can't cancel a bloke who doesn't have wifi. You have to understand what we're up against."

More to come.