Liberals Begin Serious Discussions About Parachuting Big Chocky Into NSW Central Coast For 2028

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As the Liberal Party grapples with a growing sense of irrelevance within the Australian electorate, senior party powerbrokers are beginning high level discussions about how to modernise.

How does the Liberal Party cast a wider net and increase their electability?

For ten years the Coalition has increasingly lost the support of younger voters due to their detached, stuffed-shirt, approach to politics.

If the last two elections taught the party anything, it's that their utopian 1950s vision of Australia, where the country is led by dashing Protestant men whose bubbly stay-at-home housewives remain indoors and pregnant, never really existed.

While the inner-city candidates are begging the party to just roll out the same exact policies as the progressive Teal independents who stole their seats, the outer suburban branch membership is demanding that the party focuses on the rumours that Australians kids are allowed to identify as cats at public primary schools.

Elsewhere, in Queensland, the party is divided about whether or not they should hand over all of their policymaking to mining billionaires like Gina Rinehart - and replace the NDIS and childcare with the unpaid labour of elderly female family members.

However, there is one new pathway that is being explored by the party's top brass - and that is to recruit younger men with big muscles and a gauge for old fashioned common sense.

Namely, the Australian social media sensation Big Chocky - a personal trainer/body builder who has made waves in recent years by blasting the smooth-palmed political class.

It is believed that former Prime Minister John Howard, a man credited with orchestrating the Liberal Party's last golden era, is one of the senior figures that has called for the party to recruit Big Chocky.

"If I could've parachuted John Laws or Ray Hadley into a swing-seat in 2004, I would've done just that" Howard told the Betoota Advocate.

"This is our modern version of that. Sure, this bloke has tattoos and doesn't use the King's English - but we aren't getting anywhere picking leaders who sound like they grew up in Saltburn manor"

It is believed that Big Chocky is being tipped for pre-selection as the Liberal candidate for the Central Coast NSW seat of Paterson, currently held by Labor.

Big Chocky was approached for comment, but he told The Betoota Advocate that the Liberal Party representatives that he had been in conversation with made him feel uncomfortable with their clammy handshakes.