Liberal Campaigner Applies Hand Sanitiser After Hand Shake With Visibly Working Class Voter

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

A young man from Betoota Grove, our town’s version of Mosman, Ascot or Toorak, has today had a rather unsavoury experience.

Just moments ago, when handing out how to vote Liberal cards like his father did, and father did before him, young Albert Watersmith-Watson was forced to shake hands with a man who quite obviously is renting somewhere in the area.

Doing his best to prevent his mornings breakfast from coming up, young Watersmith-Watson managed to manoeuvre his way through the conversation as quickly as possible before whipping out the sanitiser.

“Urgh” he sighed he to us as he applied a second squeeze of the disinfectant.

“I know we’re desperate this election, but fuck me it’s grim out here,” explained the soon to be a partner in his dad’s mates law firm in Betoota’s Old City District.

“That guy, just asking me what these upcoming tax breaks were about?”

“Are you fucking serious? How can these people expect to get ahead in life when they don’t have a basic understanding of how to exploit our financial system to guarantee intergenerational wealth gets passed down and consolidated,” explained the young trust fund baby who also studied commerce at university.

“Our party’s motto is you’ll get a go if you have a go, so have a go at understanding trust fund law, negative gearing, franking credits and tax concession loopholes fuck me.”

Visibly angry, Watersmith-Watson then took a minute to compose himself.

“I can’t get the stench of my hands.”

“Anyway, it’s only one day every three or four years I guess.”