Word Of The Week: Apricity (The Beautiful Warmth Of The Winter Sun)
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With Naplan scores dropping and literacy seemingly slipping away in an age of autocorrect, The Betoota
Latest news (Page 947)
French President Tells World Scotty Is A Liar On 1st Day Of A Very Long Week For Australians
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It would seem that the Australian Prime Minister is now regretting his decision to tear his
Collingwood Football Club Beg Eddie McGuire To Lace Up The Boots For One Last Cover Up
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact After a quiet few months, the AFL’s most famous club is in the headlines again.
Stupid Drunk Idiot Crashes His Car Because He Is An Entitled Rich Boy Who Is Unfit For Politics
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT If the Victorian Liberals thought that things couldn’t get worse, they were oh so very
Coworker’s New Tattoo Has Really Lame Back Story
TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact A local cleanskin has today found himself having to lie to his tattooed co-worker
Servo Attendant Only Man In Local Diva’s Life Who Knows What She Looks Like Without Make Up
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Claudia Smith-Jones (26) is one of Betoota’s hottest socialites, she’s known around town
Bloke Who Supported Joining The US In 4 Pointless Wars Condemns Americanisation Of Halloween
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Albert Jensen has had just about enough of the Halloween rubbish this week. The 65-year-
Private Girls School Shatter The Glass Ceiling With “I Wish That All The Fellas…” Chant
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Students of Betoota Grove Girl’s College have been checked for minor cuts and lacerations after
“Haha That New Streaming Service Looks So Good” Hints Housemate With No Accounts In His Name
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A savvy local student has today begun a covert campaign to get his housemate to do
Mate Who Hit It A Little Too Hard At Pre-Drinks Lovingly Tucked Into Bean Bag
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT A local bloke has hit it a little too hard on the pre-drinks tonight, taking
“I Came As Myself” Says World’s Most Boring Man Dressed Normally At Halloween Party
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Guests at a Betoota Ponds Halloween party were astutely underwhelmed today as the town’s most
Thrifty Uni Student Explains You Can Get Quite A Bit For 30 Bucks At Self Serve Checkout
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A popular student at South Betoota Polytechnic College has revealed a particularly useful lifehack to The
Regional Bachelor Takes It To The Next Level By Airfrying His Chips
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local fitter and turner has levelled up this week, by splashing out on a shiny