Word Of The Week: Apricity (The Beautiful Warmth Of The Winter Sun)
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With Naplan scores dropping and literacy seemingly slipping away in an age of autocorrect, The Betoota
Latest news (Page 943)
Kebab Shop Guy Could Fuck You Up
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the nation’s drunk idiots has found that the men employed in
Local Woman Channels Her Inner Barefoot Investor By Refusing To Look At Bank Account Until She Gets Paid
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT A local woman has today informed our reporter of some very helpful money-saving tips that
Mum Welcomes Home Son With 40 Gallon Drum Of Spag Bol And A Metre Slab Of Caramel Slice
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A Women’s Weekly cookbook is getting a workout this morning, as an enthusiastic
Bloke Huffs At 15 Minute Wait For A Haircut In Front Of Barber That Waited 15 Weeks To Open
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local fuckwit and fade enthusiast has displayed sheer arrogance this afternoon, chucking a
Unprompted Child Informs Complete Stranger Of Embarrassing Personal Information About Parents
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT If there’s one thing local woman Brea Perry simultaneously loves and hates about working with
Absolute Pest Buys A Harmonica
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In bad news for everyone with ears, local pest Chris Tripp has taken his dickory to
![“Guess Who [Out Of The 7.9 Billion People On Planet Earth] I Ran Into Today?!” Asks Girlfriend](https://storage.ghost.io/c/5b/43/5b43ce77-2979-42d3-95f7-c7aac5a40f68/content/images/size/w30/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/guess.jpg)
“Guess Who [Out Of The 7.9 Billion People On Planet Earth] I Ran Into Today?!” Asks Girlfriend
A local woman has just asked her boyfriend a question with literally an infinite amount of answers and appears to
Australian Cricketers Admit They’ve Been Screening Scotty’s Calls For A Week Now
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As the Prime Minister of Australia desperately searches for any kind of win or valuable result
WEEKLY: Scotty Does It Again, A Social Media Nip And Tuck, A Politician Off To Court & More – November 5
Clancy Overell, Errol Parker and Wendell Hussey wrap up all the biggest stories from the week – live from the Desert Rock FM studio in downtown Betoota.
Bloke At The Pub In Redcliffe Reckons His Mate’s Cousin At Ray White Says Kalyn Ponga’s Looking To Buy Around Here
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The NRL rumour mill is in full swing this week, as punters and pundits begin to
New School Principal Looks Forward To Being Loathed By Every Staff Member In The Near Future
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The new principal at Green Road Public School in Betoota Heights says she’s
First Girls Drink Since Lockdown So Exciting That Very Offensive Comments Are Taken As A Joke
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A long-overdue reunion of girlfriends in Melbourne city has kicked off today with a cracking