Landmark Study Uncovers Evidence Of What CocoMelon Does To The Developing Brain

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

A groundbreaking new piece of research from Royal Betoota Hospital’s Neurological Research Centre has made a serious splash.

The landmark study has unveiled the effects of CocoMelon on the developing, and developed brain.

Spanning some 359 pages of findings, the crux of the new report is that the popular American children’s program turns the human brain into mashed sweet potato.

“It’s like TikyTok for adults,” said the lead researcher Dr Anne Greengable.

For those not familiar, CocoMelon is a wildly popular Youtube Channel, that gets quite the run on TVs, tablets and phones across the country, and the globe.

While incredibly popular with young children, it had long been alleged that the program didn’t offer much in terms of cognitive development.

That theory has now been proven, with the new report confirming it has a similar effect on the human brain as pokies.

“Yeah the flashing lights, frantic movement and catchy/repetitive music are quite addictive for young minds,” said Dr Greengable.

“And look I can understand how it might be used as a tool to prevent a meltdown with the extended family in a busy restaurant,” she continued.

“But hey, maybe put on some good home grown content like Bluey or Play School.”

“Something with a developed story line, some plot themes and a bit of emotional depth you know.”

“Not COCOOOOOOMELOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.”