La Niña Weather Patterns Destroy Wardrobe Full Of Summer Hoe Outfits

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

In some more sad news for the nation’s woo girls, it can be now confirmed that La Niña will continue to wreak havoc on everyone’s summer plans, including any opportunity to bar hop or wear anything remotely revealing.

Local woman Shara Hamilton [25] said she’d been itching to bust out her new cutout dress and go dancing with the girls this weekend, but that the weather had quickly put a stop to her fun.

“I probably would have been able to forge ahead if I was eighteen”, says Shara, “which I don’t know is more to do with feeling the cold less, or being okay with forsaking comfort to show off some skin.”

“But I can’t be fucked doing that now.”

Adding that she’d been forced to get creative with her outfits, Shara says she’s quite lucky she has one accessory that goes quite well with a long sleeved shirt – her bountiful mummy milkers.

“Honestly, there’s nothing more fun than cracking the savvy B, dressing like a hoe and flirting with strangers in the smoker’s area.”

“Nothing, and I repeat, nothing, will stop me.”

“Not even a prude like Niña.”

More to come.