Katter Says The Tyranny Of The Irukandji Has Gone On Long Enough And Now Is The Time To Introduce The Common Sunfish By The Million To Help Hoover Up These Protoplasmic Invertebrate Terrorists CONT

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Member for Kennedy Bob Katter has today unveiled what he describes as a nation-building marine intervention to end the reign of terror inflicted upon North Queensland by the Irukandji jellyfish.

Speaking today in Cairns, the maverick MP said that the answer is simple, in his mind.

"The tyranny of the Irukandji has gone on long enough and now is the time to introduce the common sunfish by the million to help hoover up these protoplasmic invertebrate terrorists and unlock the full potential of North Queensland’s beaches which have been held to ransom by these invisible and cowardly thugs because I for one am sick to death of watching God-fearing Queenslanders and tourists alike tiptoe into the Coral Sea like it’s bloody Omaha Beach while a swarm of see-through jellybags continue to sting swimmers and sabotage the economic destiny of the tropics and I’ll tell you another thing if Canberra won’t back a proper biological counter-invasion using a hoard of Clive Palmer-sized fish with an appetite for gelatinous insurgents then by Christ we’ll breed them ourselves in the Burdekin and turn ’em loose so families can swim without looking like a Riyadh housewife and Cairns can finally become the Miami of the South Pacific where instead of Cubans and Puerto Ricans we welcome our brother cousins from across the South Pacific to a skyline of high rises and an industrial foreshore that isn’t dictated by a handful of worthless sea fleas and North Queensland can rise again realise its manifest destiny without having to roll the dice on a bloody jellyfish forecast ever again and we should also resume the shooting crocodiles because don’t get me started on them,” said Katter

Katter confirmed he is preparing draft legislation to fast-track what he has termed a measured response to maritime terror, pending support from "anyone with a backbone, which is everyone north of the Noosa River."

More to come.