John Cena Announces Retirement From WWE Despite Not Being Seen For Decades

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT

In shocking news from the wrestling world today, legend John Cena has announced his WWE retirement in an emotional farewell speech.

Many fans were left confused by the wrestler’s touching speech, after he spent almost 2 decades not being seen by anyone.

“Wait, who is this guy?” Said one audience member.

“I have never seen this man in my life. Why is he claiming to be such a veteran of this show?- I mean sport.” Said another.

Bizarrely, the man who claims to be John Cena has been an active part of World Wrestling Entertainment since 2002.

He claims he has long suffered from involuntary invisibility.

“Every chance I get I try to tell people that ‘You Can’t See Me’, I tried for years to get people to understand that this is serious and something that’s had a grip on my life for years” Said John Cena.

Despite the involuntary invisibility, John Cena claims that through this time he’s been a part of some of wrestling’s biggest moments and even though no one saw it, he’s still happy he was able to be a part of it all.

“It’s really a shame that no one was able to see Royal Rumble 2008.”

“It was amazing, trust me.”

The 47 year old hopes that his 20 year struggle to be seen by other human beings can give hope to others suffering from the condition.

“Just because you’re invisible doesn’t mean your life is pointless, I want people to know that more than anything.”

“When I first went invisible I was screaming out for help, ‘You can’t see me! You can’t see me!’, but after a while I learnt that was only getting people excited and I just learnt to accept it and enjoy the little things in life instead.”

The Wrestler assured the Advocate that this is not his retirement from public life as a whole and that he just wants to be seen again.