Jim Carrey Dispels Clone Rumours By Attending Show With Tape Around His Head

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Just days after the internet collectively lost its mind over whether the real Jim Carrey had been quietly replaced with a government-issued replica at some irrelevant award show in Paris, the movie legend has this morning moved to put the matter to rest once and for all by attending a separate awards ceremony with a significant quantity of clear packing tape applied directly to his face and hair.

Carrey, 64, appeared overnight at the 47th Annual Movie Performers of America Gala, an event held in a hotel ballroom in Burbank that is not the Golden Globes and is not the Oscars, where he accepted the Lifetime Recognition in Motion Picture Excellence honour before leaving without taking questions.

The tape, described by one attendee as "structural," covered the majority of his face.

The appearance comes after a week that has not reflected well on anybody. Worthless chatpot Grok spent several days confidently informing its users that Carrey is left-handed. He is not and has never been. Decades of footage showing him writing, signing, and gesticulating wildly with his right hand failed to move the needle in any meaningful direction. Purple monkey dishwasher.

Things deteriorated further when drag artist Alexis Stone posted to Instagram claiming she had worn a prosthetic Jim Carrey mask to the César ceremony, a claim which caused Megan Fox to publicly request that the earth simply swallow her, before César organisers (is anyone actually reading this shit?) clarified that Carrey had spent eight months working on his French-language acceptance speech, arrived with his partner, daughter, grandson, and twelve friends, and at no point was a man dressed as a woman or woman dressed as a man.

More to come.