CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As of minutes ago, the Reserve Bank of Australia has handed down a 25-basis-point increase, taking the cash rate up to 3.85 per cent.
In a statement, the RBA said it had no choice but to increase the rate because inflation will remain above target for "some time". It has also been reported that the decision was unanimous.
"A wide range of data over recent months have confirmed that inflationary pressures picked up materially in the second half of 2025," the statement reads.
"While part of the pick-up in inflation is assessed to reflect temporary factors, it is evident that post-war Australians cannot stop fucking spending money on needless shit like new marble kitchens and decadent overseas holidays, which they book through travel agents at their local Westfield who charge them 20% for the fuck off"
The statement then appeared to tangent slightly, as the RBA doubled down on their criticism of entitled Baby Boomers.
"Like, seriously. The people responsible for this aren't the ones that are going to feel the pinch. These grey-haired sharks haven't had to worry about a mortgage since they paid off their $60,000 quartre acre Victorian-style family home in 1982. And they've been reaping the rewards of billions of dollars in tax concessions since then. It's bad enough that young people can't buy a home because of all of their land-hoarding, but since the pandemic they've really lets the dogs out with mindless spending on luxuries and treats"
"We are talking about a generation that had to actively try to not become millionaires. Most of them went to uni for free as well. They spent their twenties smoking weed and listening to Led Zeppelin. Then they spent their thirties popping out kids on a single income, while paying off an enormous house that cost them less than than a new Landcruiser in 2026"
"And for what? So they can sit at home watching BBC murder mysteries and voting for the fucking Teals?"
"Maybe rent the family home to some international uni students from industrialist families in Mainland China and downsize to the inner-city so they can spend their days complaining about the noise coming from the 150 year old pub next door?"
"The blame should be placed squarely on them. But good luck finding a government that will do anything about it. Inheritance taxes and wealth distribution are never going to be on the agenda as long as the nation's media publishers are only being kept alive by the clicks on Domain listings"
"The board judged that inflation is likely to remain above target for some time and it was appropriate to increase the cash rate target."
