Innocent Man Decides Not To Have Any More Facts Reported On His Past

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

An innocent man who was in the process of suing the ABC has decided enough is enough after deciding not to proceed with the case today in Sydney.

Senior public servant Christian Porter, who for a time was the nation’s peak legal officer, has hinted that if the case was to proceed, it would’ve resulted in a number of things he’d rather be kept secret dragged out into the light.

“I just decided it was better for everyone, especially me, if we didn’t proceed to trial,” he said.

“Because I am innocent and it would just be a waste of time. You know, it’s kind of like when you get home from work and you cook dinner and you watch Goggle Box or whatever and when it comes time for bed, you just can’t be bothered having a shower. That’s how this case feels for me. It’s just dragging me down when it shouldn’t really have to. I shouldn’t even be here because I am innocent,”

“I am innocent by decree of the Prime Minister, who I’d like to thank for his support in this matter. The reports of me quitting this court case because I didn’t want any more dirty laundry dragged out for everyone to see are incorrect. I have nothing to hide, except for some small things that might harm the government. You know, it’s kind of like the same reason why Linda Reynolds still has a job? How much did she know? She probably knows everything she needs to know to bring down a government. That’s why she still has a job,”

“So there you go, Four Corners. There’s a good story for you. Leave me alone now. Now, I trust this matter is over and I will never, ever speak of it again,”

“Sien julle almal in die hel.”

Mr Porter then left without taking another question.