Hungry Caterpillar’s Diet Hitting A Little Close To Home For New Dad

TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact

New father, Steven Gunn, is feeling a pang of shame this evening after reading the Eric Carle classic, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, to his four year old son. While the story itself tells of a beautiful transformation, Gunn can’t help but feel personally attacked by the lepidoptera’s atrocious diet.

The shame was made worse when Gunn’s son, Hunter, pointed at the page and said “Dada, Dada.” The page in question was the caterpillar’s weekend binge, where he eats one piece of chocolate cake, one ice cream, one pickle, one slice of Swiss cheese, one piece of salami, one lollipop, one piece of cherry pie, one sausage, one cupcake, and one slice of watermelon.

“Fair go” Gunn said, attempting to defend his dietary choices.

However, upon further reflection he realised the Hungry Caterpillar’s diet was eerily reflective of his own.

“I guess I do blow out a bit on the weekend.”

According to Gunn’s wife, Michelle, the diet would be an exact match if one VB, one Guiness, one glass of red wine, one bag, and one valium were also thrown into the mix.

“How about we focus on the healthy stuff me and the caterpillar are eating, huh? Get off our backs.”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me I am going to cocoon.”