Sydney Rental Market Forces Man To Consider A Boarding House Like He’s Going To Fucking Hogwarts

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

A Betoota born-Sydney based man is having a quarter-life crisis tonight as he scours the internet in search of a new place to live.

Despite having a sound paying job, a sensible weekly budget, and no penchant for smoking or gambling his pay-check away, 29-year-old hospo manager Ryan Mogg is struggling to find a rental that won’t bleed him bone dry each month.

Having lived in a number of share houses since his uni days, Ryan told The Advocate he wouldn’t mind trying to find a quiet studio apartment, so he doesn’t have to wake up every morning to the sounds of his housemates bonking on the other side of the wall.

But with every studio in the harbour cesspit that doesn’t look like a Mongolian prison cell beginning at a cool $550+ a week, Ryan told our reporter the only places within his budget come with compulsory bible studies.

“I keep finding these $400 a week joints, the rooms look nice, the kitchen looks weirdly industrial, then you read the description and realise it’s a cult campus, like a churchy boarding school for adults.”

“When you read Males Only or Females Only, that’s an instant red flag.”

“Believe it or not, but I don’t want an apartment block that offers a DVD movie night every Friday, or weekend bus tours to the Blue Mountains.

I just want a house I can live, sleep, eat and root in that doesn’t come with a 10pm curfew.”

“I’m not looking for Hogwarts!”

More to come.