Suburban Shopping Centre Nail Salon Using Enough Acetone To Knock Out A Horse

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A nail salon located in Betoota Heights Westfield shopping centre has faced an uptick in complaints this week, as reports come that the usual overbearing stench of ammonia had reached ‘nuclear levels.’

The Advocate learns many of the centre’s regulars have long known to give ‘Mimi’s Salon’ a wide berth when traipsing up and down the aisles, citing that the smell of ammonia was so powerful it would elicit on average fifty ‘phwoars’ a day, and that it had been a health and safety ticking time bomb for some while now.

Though the poor ventilation and heavy usage of ammonia was a bad enough combination, it appears all it took was the centre’s air conditioner breaking down on a hot day for all hell to break loose.

“It took out a couple of the oldies”, remarks one shopper, who said he’d been on his way to have a limp $35 breakfast at The Coffee Club when he stumbled upon some of the fallen , “dropped like flies meeting a cloud of Mortein.”

“It just completely eviscerated all senses.”

“I could taste the French pedicure deep inside my soul.”

More to come.