Report: Nation’s Women Urged To Avoid Blokes Who Rotate Between These Three Shoes

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

The nation’s bachelorettes has this week been armed with some tips to help them navigate the difficult dating scene, which will help them identify a fuckboy before he even opens his mouth, it’s reported.

Using data compiled from dating apps, SWARM (The Scored Women’s Alliance Against Romantic Malpractice) has revealed a series of wardrobe items that every fuckboy has in their arsenal.

The Advocate speaks to head researcher Dr. Lindsay Pine, to learn more.

“If he’s single and he has a mullet and a moustache, there’s about a 70% chance you’ll be ghosted”, reveals Wilson, referring to the more alternative, Newtowny breed of fuckboy, “if he also wears a pearl necklace and rings, there’s a 90% chance you’ll be ghosted. Usually after a root.”

“If you’re more into the white collar type, keep your eyes peeled for rolled up chinos with a lot of exposed ankle.”

“Pair those with boat shoes, and don’t bother introducing them to your mum.”

Letting out a small chuckle, Wilson says the type of shoes a guy wears seemed to pop up a lot in these studies, and that her team of researchers were eventually able to narrow them down into the ‘Fuckboy Three.’

“If a guy rotates between boat shoes, RM’s, and Birkenstocks… RUN!.”

“A pair of fuckwit shoes for every occasion suggests you’re dealing with a real professional.”

More to come.