Report: Mum Simply Cannot Have You Losing Another Umbrella

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

With Mother Nature once again reminding you that she can kill you with the liquid that keeps you alive, Aussie’s across the nation are seeking shelter from the storm.

However, one place where you will certainly find no shelter is at mum’s place as the matriarch has confirmed she simply cannot have you losing another umbrella.

The first umbrellas are believed to have originated in China as far back as 3500 BC. These days, most umbrellas are still manufactured in China but the best place to get one is at mum’s because she has so many of the things somehow.

Unfortunately, the halcyon days of pinching one from mum are over as she sent the last couple off with you and never saw them again.

“What happened to that little purple one I lent to you?” asked mother Miriam McKeever after her daughter Lucy asked if she could borrow an umbrella from her mum’s arsenal.

“You didn’t lose that one to did you? That wasn’t a bog standard Coles one Lucy, that was a Supermini your dad got me from London! That was special!”

“Did you at least check at the bus depot? I don’t see why I should lend you another quite frankly. Maybe a walk in the rain is what you need to stop losing your mum’s umbrellas.”

“Of course I’m joking, I’m not having you catch a cold, take one from the laundry but one of your dads OK? I’m not having you lose another of mine, I simply cannot.”