Report Finds 90% Of Blokes Who Drive A Ute, While Dressed Head To Toe In RMs, Work Behind A Desk

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

In some surprising news (or unsurprising, given who you ask), it’s alleged up to 90% of Australian men who wear RMs and drive utes do not have a lifestyle that would require strong footwear, nor the need for large storage space – other than the occasional sweet Marketplace furniture find, that is.

Speaking to a number of young gentlemen exiting a French Quarter RM store, The Advocate learns that the majority of men who fall under the RMs/ute combo work in an office, doing tech, finance or marketing – including Art Director at One Pump Digital, Gavin Daley-Hoss.

“Look, I’ll be honest, it is a masculinity thing”, admits Gavin, fumbling with his obscenely large belt buckle, “I don’t work with my hands, so in my mind, I have to make up for it by purchasing the most masculine things I can think of.”

“There’s absolutely no reason why I should be driving a Dodge Ram in the city.”

“I can’t fucking park anywhere, and everyone thinks I’m a massive wanker.”

“But what’s a man to do?”

Thanking Gavin for his candor, our reporter can’t help but wonder if there’s a tradie out there who drives a Volvo, and likes to wear leather pointed shoes and silly socks.

More to come.