Random Girl You Met Just Bought A House With Her Partner, Is Planning A Wedding Oh And They Got A Dog Too

CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT

Amelia Kumar (27) found herself in what can only be described as the “friend-of-a-friend social hostage situation.

Spending the better part of her Friday evening at a friend’s birthday dinner at an overpriced wine bar in the French Quarter, Amelia found herself relegated to the awkward end of a 12-seater table and was immediately cornered by a random girl.

This girl was about three rosés deep and began to unload her entire life story,  all while flashing a fresh set of nails and an engagement ring.

“My partner Tim and I just bought a gorgeous 4-beddy in the burbs, she’s a bit of fixer-upper, but Tim’s good with his hands, so it should be a fun little project for us. We want to do the outdoor deck first and the landscaping, so Piper has some room to run around”

“Is Piper your kid?” Amelia asked, puzzled.

“Oh no haha, not quite there yet, maybe after the wedding, oh yes we are also planning a wedding gosh we are doing soooo much this year. No Piper is out gorgeous goldiecavaboujee.

Our sweet little golden retriever cross cavoodle cross French bulldog. She’s the love of our life!”.

The random girl then pulled out her phone and began flicking through an unsolicited slideshow of house renos, dog photos, and wedding venue inspo.

Amelia sat there nodding politely, slowly dissociating for the rest of the night and quietly questioning every life decision that had brought her to this exact moment.

At press time, the random girl was discussing her gut health journey.