Phone Addiction Realised After Attempt To Set Alarm Results In 30 Minute Social Media Scroll

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact

Local woman Alyshia Stephenson has just come to after losing 30 minutes of her life down a social media black hole.

Dazed and confused, Alyshia sat there wondering what the hell happened.

“I just went on there [my phone] to set an alarm,” she said.

“Then I came to and 30 minutes had passed.”

“I don’t even know what happened.”

This type of behaviour is quite a common occurrence amongst millennials who have developed a dependency on their smartphones.

It’s understood that Alyshia didn’t actually end up setting the alarm, instead she became lost in an endless scrolling cycle of looking at the fake lives other people portray on social media.

“Shit, these big tech corps have got me, my brain just took me to their app on autopilot, I’m addicted!”

Just as those words escaped Alyshia’s mouth, our Zuckerberg Boner-metre went crazy. He has got another one hooked.

The Advocate installed the Zuckerberg Boner-metre shortly after Facebook’s data privacy hearing began. It’s what gives our reporters a competitive edge over other media outlets and gives us insight into what exactly makes him tick.

We’re yet to uncover any real insights, just that he loves getting people addicted to his apps and targeting customers with annoying sponsored ads.

More to come.