No Skateboarding Sign Shown The Respect It Deserves

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

A committed young shredder has shown the local council, world and step dad what he thinks of them by giving the local NO SKATEBOARDING sign the respect it deserves.

Earlier today, future lord Benjamin Pike (11) went for a vertical plank on his four-wheeled pony with the sort of speed and nihilistic ambition only a young skater in regional Australia can understand.

At approximately 12pm, Pike passed the newly redesigned Bon Scott Memorial Library, featuring a community garden, artisanal cafe, reflection pool and an actual shelf of books.

The outdoor space also features a NO SKATEBOARDING sign amongst the various hazards strategically placed to stop would-be sick grinding spots.

However, for some unknown reason Pike protested the sign in silence but for the rolling echo of wheels over the smooth and freshly paved virgin stone, giving the sign the respect it deserved.

“It said no skating but it had a picture of a scooter on it too,” Pike later told our reporting team, receiving a can of Monster as tall as he is for payment.

“They disrespected my passion. It’s that simple.”

“Also it’s the smoothest surface in town. Our “skatepark” is made of sand and is next to the cop shop for fuck’s sake.”