Lonely Old Granny At Least Has A Good Enough View For Real Estate Agents To Call Her And Say Hi

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Betoota senior Geraldine Groucher (88) doesn’t hear much from her family anymore but hopes to once they rethink their whole ‘marrying protestants’ nonsense.

Without much family contact, Mrs Groucher’s days are spent wheeling herself out to watch daytime quiz shows, searching for her iPad, failing to unlock her iPad, watching more quiz shows before having a slice of toast on her balcony for her daily meal.

Recently though, Groucher’s has spent a little time chatting with a rather friendly young real estate agent who calls the old widow just to say hi and ask what she’s up to.

“Oh Georgio is a really sweet thing,” stated Groucher, unaware that the man she is referring to includes his rental clients in his ‘body count’ as he constantly fucks them too.

“He just calls to ask how I’m doing, have I seen any nice birds today, what my mother’s maiden name was, whether Midsomer Murders was new or a repeat…”

“He makes sure I get all my exercises in. Did you know measuring the length of your walls is meant to be good for treating arthritis?”

The Advocate reached out to the real estate agent for comment but was told he wasn’t available as he had lost his arms and legs and was back in time slithering around the Garden of Eden eyeing off some fruit.

MORE TO COME.