Local Craft Brewer Reveals She’s Running Out Of Things To Make Beer Out Of

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Looking down at the green frogs clinging to dear life in the toilet this morning, a local craft brewer said the thought did cross her mind.

“I wondered, briefly, if you could make a beer out of green frogs,” she said.

“Even if you could, but. The greenies would jump all over you.”

Denise Roper, head brewer at the fabled Elephant & Pogostick Hotel and Brewery, told The Advocate today that she’s fast running out of things to turn into a beer.

Take a walk down any fresh produce aisle at your local supermarket and you’ll struggle to come across something that the effervescent 28-year-old hasn’t turned into a delicious alcoholic beverage.

“My double avocado American red ale was well received,” she laughed.

“Then, I guess, others like my Warrick Capper Limited Edition Pecan Nut Pale Ale, was not well received. Ah well. This game is half experimentation, half contract brewing. But yeah, I don’t really know what else I can do now, I’ve basically made a beer out of everything.”

However, the raven-haired Scorpio isn’t going to stop.

She told our reporters that she’s taking her current predicament as a challenge, rather than a roadblock.

“I’m thinking about making a black grape stout,” she said.

“And I’ll call it the Grant Hackett Airbourne Nipple Cripple Dark Ale. Fuck it, I might even make it 14% and try selling it in 440mL cans. Think of the absolute chaos that’d reign if you had a six pack on your own,”

“Or maybe I could make a beer out of Gatorade? You know, so you don’t get hung diddy after a big day on the grog? The possibilities are actually endless, this whole article and interview are largely redundant now.”

More to come.