ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A popular local thinking man has been bamboozled by a Betoota Heights travel agency this afternoon because despite never seeing anybody in it ever, it still manages to remain open.

When he’s not enjoying a fine prepackaged lasagne with friends in his rented one-bedroom apartment, Kane Mooch applies his oversized brain to academia down the South Betoota Polytechnic College Music Department.

The 27-year-old can play Liszt’s La Campanella from memory, after a short warm up, he says.

He’s brought two Tinder and six Bumble dates home with him this year – just so they could hear and see him play Debussy’s Clair De Lune – seconds after ripping a Kosciusko-sized cone in front of them with his water-pipe named ‘Elliot Carver’ after his favourite Bond villain.

“But,” he said. “That all pales in comparison to the Betoota Heights Flight Centre.”

Kane spoke to The Advocate this afternoon about his constant amazement at the store and its ability to have no customers, ever.

“I’m sure they do have customers, from time to time. But I’ve never actually seen one in there, like ever. Do people still go to travel agents? Do people still think it’s 1994 and Michael Jackson is still throwing shamonas around like they’re run-of-the-mill tee-hees?”

“People are strange.”

The Advocate reached out to various representatives from Flight Centre for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


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