Bloke Slapping Hand Against Himself Feels He’s Contributing To Applause

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Watching his local cricket team coast to yet another victory late this afternoon, a popular grazier had a beer in one hand when the side’s star batsman pull another short ball to the boundary.

Many of those around Steve Gumble felt compelled to applaud the batsman’s skill and ability, which they did by putting their hands together politely.

But with a can of easy drinking Betoota Bitter in one hand, the 57-year-old found himself awkwardly unable to clap.

So rather than attempt to hold the tin between his legs while he clapped loudly, without whooping or hollering like a boorish American or an ABC live studio audience, Steve began to vigorously slap on his left thigh.

“Great shot!” he said firmly, not loudly.

“Well done, Mike!”

But some have told The Advocate that if one cannot clap properly, then one must not ‘clap’ at all.

An overly observant and largely annoying fellow cricket fan shared with our reporter that Mr Gumble should’ve not bothered slapping himself in applause.

He should’ve put his drink down, then clapped.

However, when we spoke to the sheep breeder himself, he explained that he was contributing to the applause – despite what anyone else says.

“It’s making noise, isn’t it?” he said.

“I’m showing my appreciation by making noise. Point out the cunt who said I should’ve kept quiet!”

“I’ll fucking kill him!”

More to come.