​​Bloke Losing Battle With Norwood Curse Cruelly Blessed With Pubes Like A 2000s Sheepskin Car Seat Cover

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

Staring sadly at his thinning hairline in the mirror, local bloke Ian Thompson lets out a sigh.

Despite his multi step hair loss prevention routine (minoxidil, finasteride, and dragging needles across his scalp), Ian’s hair has unfortunately been hellbent on disappearing as fast a private school boy being held accountable for his actions – An insult that is made worse by the fact that his older brother still has a very full head of hair.

And the fact that Ian’s pubes are as lucious as ever.

Too luscious, one might say.

Peering into his boxers, the irony is not lost on Ian that despite having roughly one quarter of his head hair left, his pubic hair has the same density as one of those sheepskin car seat covers that were weirdly popular in Australia in the early 2000s.

Letting out another sigh for good measure, Ian takes one last look in the mirror before Googling whether it’s possible to get a pubic hair transplant.

More to come.