“Ahh… I Would But… I’m Not Big On Single Use Waste” Says Greenie Fuckboy Trying To Raw Dog

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

In some scary news for women around the nation, it appears that fuckboys are evolving their seduction tactics to the point of even weaponising environmetalism, it’s reported.

This comes as renowned Betoota Heights fuckboy, Jamie Jennings [25] was seen really trying his luck with a Tinder hookup last night, who luckily was too clever to fall for his attempts to manipulate his way out of wearing a franga.

“Look babe, I’d like to, but I really can’t justify the harmful impact on the environment’, said Jamie, “if Woolies is banning single use waste, so should I.”

Letting out an exasperated sigh as his date shot him an incredulous look, Jamie went on to explain that condoms aren’t very environmentally friendly, and that if she really cared for the future of the planet, she wouldn’t ask him to wear one.

“Condoms aren’t biodegradable babe.”

“Think of the turtles.”

More to come