A Bruised And Bloodied Scotty Asks If His Colleagues Can Stop Throwing Him Under The Bus Every 5 Minutes

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Prime Minister is recovering after being thrown under a passing bus this afternoon by another one of his colleagues.

Earlier today, Scott Morrison was thrown under a bus by Liberal New South Wales Premier Dom Perrottet after the latter announced that microchipped travellers from overseas would be allowed to come here and not quarantine – provided they don’t have the Pangolin’s Revenge – and just moments ago, his political rival Petter Dutton said he supports a net-zero Australia by 2050.

“Could everyone just stop throwing me under the bus for five minutes,” said the PM at a Canberra press conference today.

“I am trying to make a deal with the Nationals and it’s made harder by the fact that those in my own party are just taking the piss at every opportunity and taking every opportunity to make me look like an idiot!”

“Just this week, I’ve been thrown under half a dozen buses already. Look at me! I haven’t been this cut up since a Joeys boy spear tackled me into the cricket pitch on the McKay Oval! Enough is enough, I thought we were a team!”

The Advocate reached out to Peter Dutton’s office for comment but only received an envelope with a suspicious white powder in it.

It went all over Clancy’s desk when he tore the envelope open and now he can’t stop coughing.

More to come.