Housing Crisis On Sydney’s Northern Beaches Causes Drastic Shortage Of New Recruits For Swingers Clubs

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

The historic swingers clubs of Sydney’s Northern are at crisis point, that’s according to the veterans of Australia’s most enthusiastic polyamory scene.

The issue, they say, is the lack of young families moving into the area.

Australia’s catastrophic housing and rental crisis has officially rendered the entire megatropolis of Greater Sydney unaffordable, with every inch of the city accounted for – as either overvalued land-banking assets or vacant lots earmarked for the unregulated development of equally unaffordable high rise units.

Gone are the days of generational beachside communities, or empty squats for the scene’s burgeoning musicians and artists.

As of 2024, the once economically diverse and exciting capital city of Sydney is nothing more than a memory. In it’s place sits a grid of heavily mortgaged parcels of land, carved off like Latin American countries and packaged up with promises of prosperity and eternal wealth.

And this plague of property speculation and market manipulation has gradually made it’s way up and down the entire Northern Beaches peninsula, following a spike in pandemic sea-change purchases.

With the area suffering from some of the highest levels of housing stress in the country, the once ‘never leave’ attitude of local residents has been shattered – as the area’s young people are forced to move further up the coast and settle for chat surf.

But it’s not just families that are being torn apart by the Boomer Dream, the communities as a whole are suffering too.

“I haven’t been able to root anyone except my own wife for months” says local roofer, Cliff ‘Snake’ Menzies (58).

As Snake points out, the lack of new talent coming through the Surf Club has really been disappointing, and it’s clear that the next generation of rosè-swilling white jean cougars have just been priced out of these suburbs.

“Once upon a time, we’d have new families moving in here all the time. Teachers and other tradies and what not. Young couples who could bang like a dunny door in a cyclone”

“But the young ones can’t afford to relocate here anymore.”

“Most can’t even afford a card. Imagine that, living on the beaches and relying on public transport. We aren’t throwing a bloody Opal card in the bowl that’s for sure”