Western Australian Achieves Dream Of Being Cool And Interesting By Supporting A Melbourne AFL Team

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Western Australian man, Gerald Tonne (29) was actually raised between Fremantle and Perth.

When it comes to his home state’s love affair with AFL football, Gerald could support either the Dockers or the Eagles and nobody would interrogate his decision because he’s got ties to both heartlands.

But he’s chosen neither.

Instead, he supports a team from 3 and half thousands kilometres away, based in a Melbourne suburb he has never visited.

It is not really known why he does this, other than it gives him a slight edge to his personality as an outsider contrarian that supports neither of his state’s home teams.

And it’s not just a matter of him not really caring about football and being a shit stirrer.

He actually studies the game – and knows more about the Collingwood Magpies than the average Western Australian knows about their own teams. He’s even a member.

Such is his commitment to being cool and interesting, Gerald follows every single trade update, team changes and scandal to ever implicate his beloved ‘pies’.

“Yeah I reckon WE are a dark horse this season” Gerald tells his friends.

“Lot of big changes for OUR team in the lead up to finals. Darcy is really lifting”

Gerald has no family ties to the club and seemingly just pulled this team out of his arse in his twenties.

His conduct is extremely frustrating to his friends and family – even more so when it pretends it’s not weird.

Gerald has a history of this kind of anti-Western Australia treason, starting from his late teens when he would openly declare that he wasn’t a fan of Tame Impala’s music.

He prefers to drink VB or XXXX over local beers like Emu Export of Little Creatures.

However, Gerald’s most most spiteful and anti-Western Australia sentiments are revealed when discussing his preferred holiday destinations.

“Yeah” he says.

“Never been to Bali hey”