Sexual Tension Almost Unbearable As The Topic Of Uber Ratings Comes Up During First Date

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

A first date at a French Quarter restaurant has gone into overdrive
as accountant Lindal Snape (30) steps it up a notch and begins
discussing Uber ratings with promising Tinder match Reese Mckinley
(31).

According to Snape she usually waits until after the meal to bring
up ‘real topics’ such as Uber ratings, workplace bullying and
shared experiences reading the Barefoot Investor.

However, Snape decided to skip the general chit chat once Mckinley
began detailing all the ways in which he would shoot up his
workplace with his paintball gun if he hadn’t sold it due to lack
of use.

“He’s just as over it all as me,” stated Snape through a pair of
lifeless eyes.

“Who knows, maybe we’ll enter into a loveless marriage
together. This is hot”

Taking a leap of faith, Snape decided to move the conversation
along to the burning hot question of Uber ratings only to be
horrified by McKinley’s response.

“He has 3.8! What the fuck has he done to get that? He’s
mental! He must be a bad boy”

“I’ve spewed in an Uber before and I’m still on
4.6!”

Witnesses state Mckinley tried desperately to explain he was new to
Uber and had perhaps slammed the door once or twice but was unheard
as Snape began to unashamedly moan in ecstasy.

“I’m so turned on” she whispered.