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Australia’s ‘traditional media’ heavyweights have woken up this morning feeling more irrelevant than ever before, after realising they have absolutely zero influence over the Australian public, and even less insight into their actual lives.

This follows the news that their beloved puppet Scott Morrison has been forced to concede at the 2022 Federal Election

It is not yet known if Labor will form a majority or minority government, but the election was called rather early in the evening after it became apparent that the LNP lost 20 seats on Saturday night, including all of their best talent.

The Greens are on track to win up to four seats and the independents have won 11 seats.

This ‘surprise’ election result comes after a 3-year term under Prime Minister Scott Morrison, a man whose government was able to engage in unbridled corruption, blame-shifting, procrastinating and smear campaigns without being held to account by any of the major news outlets.

In fact, it almost felt like the multiple rape allegations within Morrison’s Federal Cabinet was treated like much less of a story than that time Anthony Albanese fumbled on recalling the warped unemployment statistics.

With a 6 week campaign that saw both the Costello newspapers and Murdoch newspapers smear any opponent of the Prime Minister on the front page, every single day, it seems that maybe no one is actually reading these things anymore.

And if they are, they certainly do not respect the opinions of anyone in there.

While the selfless yuppies from the campaign media press pack are sitting at home today patting themselves on the back over a Stone and Wood, it would seem that destroying their own reputations for a few gotchya questions probably wasn’t worth it – especially considering that none of the voters seemed to give a fuck about these TikTok highlight reels of politicians struggling to instantly answer rather complex questions about issues that most people aren’t following anyway.

Cab drivers around the country can also confirm today that, despite being the number one consumers of populist right-wing talking points, the deranged rants of multimillionaires like Ray Hadley and Paul Murray have done very little to convince voters to re-elect the bloke that went on holiday to Hawaii during the bushfires.

Lucky they’ve got that golden parachute of Clive Palmer’s $80m campaign war chest, which they willingly plastered every TV channel and newspaper with, only to land him less votes than the Legalise Marijuana Party.

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