Report Finds IKEA Outlets Make Up 85% Of All Outskirt Suburbs In Nation’s Cities

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A recent report by the Australian Population Policy Taskforce has found that a large portion of semi-rural suburban areas are completely taken up by giant IKEA warehouses.

“What we have found is that there is little room for much else off the motorways of between the Gold Coast and Brisbane and Sydney’s Western Suburbs” says one key researcher, Lan Debanka.

“We are rapidly running out of room to build carbon copy rendered brick McMansions, mainly due to the fact there are tens of kilometers of blue-coloured aeroplane hangars-sized Swedish furniture outlets”

The report, which was commissioned by several eastern seaboard propertyphile state governments, has found that as our nation’s metropolitan areas drift further away from decentralizing, another major hurdle has been finding space to build housing that in the city fringes.

“There’s barely any room for a Bunnings” says one Loganlead local, who can’t afford any IKEA furniture.

“Let alone some of the industrial estate carveries that make those delicious roast pork sandwiches”