QLD Premier Sniggers To Herself While Reading Out Yet Another Letter From Struggling Farmer

4 August, 2016 10:35

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

For the last twenty minutes, QLD Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk has been struggling to hold back sinister chuckles as her dark sense of humour is entertained by yet another earnest hand-written letter from a desperate Outback farmer.

It has believed that Palaszczuk’s behaviour has given way to a feeling of uneasiness within her office, with even the most city-centric Labor goon staffers giving each other anxious nods.

The Premier’s delightful chuckles of dictatorship coincides with hundreds of Australian farmers march through Brisbane’s CBD today to protest the new State Labor Government’s new vegetation laws, which many believe have been drawn up to appease her Greens preferences in towns where people think marijuana is legal.

“[laughter] Oh my God!” she says.

“This bloke had to take his kids out of boarding school [laughter]”

“Stiff luck. They’ve had it good for too long under Newman. It’s time us Labs got what we wanted. And what we want is the unnecessary growth of introduced plantlife on cattle stations in towns we’ve never visited,”

As the laughter is slowly drowned out by the chants of struggling farmers who have today marched through the Brisbane CBD and on to State Parliament lawns, Palaszczuk says she will not be moved on her decision to make life hard for people who already owe hundreds of thousands to the bank after decades of crippling drought.

The farmers argue the legislation as it stands is working and has let an additional 430,000 hectares of “woody growth” emerge between 2012 and 2014, according to the state government’s own data.

“I guess I better keep away from the Cattleman’s bar this week” she says between what has now become fits of hysterical laughter.

“Lucky most of my voters are more worried about parking metres at South Bank!”